How to win friends and influence people

Author: Dale Carnegie

A good reminder of decent, ethical advice on how to influence people.  The examples and style throughout seem contrived today but this book, written three-quarters of a century ago, provides good advice on how to win people to your way of thinking whilst acting decently

Techniques in handling people

A. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain
B. Give honest and sincere appreciation
C. Arouse in others an eager want

Be Likeable
1. Become genuinely interested in people
2. Smile
3. A person’s name
4. Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

Win people to your way of thinking
i] The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
ii] Show respect for the other person’s opinions. ¬†Never say, “You’re wrong”
iii] If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
iv] Begin in a friendly way
v] Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes” immediately
vi] Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
vii] Let the other person think the idea is his or hers
viii] Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
ix] Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires
x] Appeal to their nobler motives
xi] Dramatise your ideas
xii] Throw down a challenge

Be a leader: change people without engendering resentment or offence
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly